Dear STAFF,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
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1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
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2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.
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3) LUNCH BREAK:
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that`s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
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4) SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
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5) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
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6) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.
Best Regards,
HRD
Thursday, May 28, 2009
NEW Rules & Regulations for more efficiency of our firm...!!!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Yoga VS Wishy!!!
Pic 1: It takes years of practice to do this asana.
Pic2: It takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.
Cheers \m/ :(
Read rest of entry
Pic2: It takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.
Cheers \m/ :(
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Missing those school days!!!
Some filmy meanings Of our old days never come back.
1.college ------- yaadein
2.principal ------ Jaani Dushman
3.classes ------- kabhi kabhi
4.canteen------- kabhi alvida na kehna
5.course -------- godzilla
6.exams -------- kalyug
7.examination hall---- chamber of secret
8.exam-time ---------- qayamat se qayamt tak
9. question paper --------- paheli
10.answer paper ---------- kora kagaz
11.cheating ---------- aksar/chupke chupke
12. paper out ---------- plan
13.examiner ------------- the killer
14.last exam ----------- independence day
15.paper correction --------- andha kanoon
16.marks ----------- assambhav
17.result ----------- murder
18.pass ------------ ajooba/ chamatkar
19. fail ----------- devdas
20.supplementary ------- aakhri raasta
21.vacation ------------- waah life hoto aisi....
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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