Showing posts with label IT Shayries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IT Shayries. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

FUNNY INTERVIEW


Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Invitation From Nokia to Motorola

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Read and enjoy

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. ....
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it be comes deaf......"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry num be r is also written...BC 1760!!!....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks be hind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..
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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Solution to unhappy employees!!

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Software engineer and his wife!!!

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Server Bole To!!!

Karthik: First year was the most hectic year in my engineering academic life. On one side I was about to leave Physics and Chemistry forever and on other side I was about to join the geek world.


Scene:
First year computer practical exam.

Venue:
Computer Lab


Time:
The worst possible time...Around 12 o’clock.





The last day of my first year exams and the biggest mountain is still not conquered - “Computer Practical”. The only thing I learned in last one year is to differentiate between a CPU and a monitor. This is the only true knowledge I have about this subject.

Let me look at the search and sort program again.

Scanf then printf….Oops…printf then scanf… # include iostream.h…#include conio.h…clrscr()

Oh...God...I wish that share folder still exists… I hope the netsend command still works.

God...Help me… main ()…curly brackets open….

Oops !! There he is, the most brilliant student of our class Janeesh K.J , the one who asked doubt to our Mechanical faculty on the first day itself. A tough question “Sir, is it possible to store data on WordStar instead of Access “.

Ghosh!!! What’s WordStar?? What’s Access??
I am going to fail.

He looks too cool. Boy…5 more minutes left... C came after B…now we have C++ and VC++…C was discovered/invented (not sure) by Dennis Richie….

I can hear one of the gal asking Janeesh “What’s ANSI C ?”


Oops...I don’t know even that...Probably discovered by Ancy… so C was discovered by both Dennis and Ancy… might behusband - wife.

Here comes the lab assistant.

“Guys get in!!!”

So at last the time has come. Utmost one more supplementary. Huh!!! Karthik …you have been through these situations now and then … bravo...Come on!!!!

I entered the lab with shaking hands...legs…entire body...


Oh that’s my system!!!! It’s still vacant…my shared drives…. Ha ha ha ..great

“Hey…take this system…sit according to your rollnumber” (In came the voice of lab assistant)

What the…H*%$ is it….?

Hey even this system is far from the faculty’s desk. This is great.

“Now !! turn over the sheet of paper on your desk, you have to complete the task in 3 hours. First write down the algorithm and then start doing the program.”

So...This is it… Come on…let’s see what’s in there….

Write a program to sort N natural numbers in ascending order and then perform search operation.


(PS: Use Bubble sort and binary search).


Nice question the one I have mugged up. Take this Compy – Dompy…

#include iostream.h…#include conio.h..main()….

Its’ over and still plenty of time left. Let me see what others are doing. Oh !! God they all are gone. Was this paper that easy!!

“Karthik are you finished with the work?”

“Yes Mam”

“OK !! show me the output”

“Here it is...” ...Ctrl+F9

“Okay..that looks okay..it could have been better…you should add comments where ever possible…”…bla bla bla..and one more bla….

Oh !!! she is gone….hmmm..she will never get satisfied…anyways..It’s over…

I started going towards the door


“
Karthik !!! where r u going? Come over here. You still have VIVA left.”

Huh !!! Not again !!!

“Please sit “

“Thank you “

“Okay !! Tell me..What is a computer”

‘A computer is an electronic device…….tttttrrrrrrrrrrppppppp”..

I am the best..I am the best..I am the best.. Yah I am best

“What r macros?”

‘Sorry’

Did she hear me saying I am the best…


“What r libraries”

‘Pardon’

“What are command line arguments?”

‘Don’t know’

“What are inbuilt functions?”

‘Can u please repeat the question……’


Are these questions from Computer Science!!!! Huh !!!


“Okay one last question…Show me where is the serverin our lab”

Hmmm….Server is something big…yah it’s very big….bigger than CPU and monitor…now I have to find where it is….hmmm…

not that…that’s a switch board…not even that...that’s AC….hmmmm…which one is the server…..Oopps…that’s her again…

“Hey !!! Stop revolving in your chair and tell me..Which is the server?”

Hey that looks like a server….

’There it is’.…(pointing hand towards the
UPS, but the faculty thought Karthik was pointing towards the system..kept on the table )

“Good…Why didn’t you tell me earlier if you knew that? Actually no one answered it correctly...Good keep it up”

“Thank you mam..thanks a lot…”

Yahoooo…..last ball..sixer..yipeeee………………….


From then on I never looked back, within hours I became the hero of the class. People started coming to me with their doubts.

I cleared all their doubts. Even that svelte gal came and asked “What’s ANSI C ?”. Till date she thinks Richie and Ancy are husband and wife.
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Thursday, June 25, 2009

IT Shayries


mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...


Shayad mere pyar ko taste Karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye..


Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...


Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...


Ho gayi galti humse, Click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!


Tumse mila main kal to, Mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili To kehti ho: Your file not found!


Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif


Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't likeyour face
Par dil ke computer mein, Nahin hai enough disk space


Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, Pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, Ho jaata hai server down


Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, Create main karoonga
Tum usse debug karna, Wait main karoonga


Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, Time out ho gaya


Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat


Tum jabse meri zindagi, mein aayi ho banke female,
Yaad raha na ab kuch, Na postman , Na e-Mail


Joh sadiyaon se hota aaya hai Woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga...


Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai.......


Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon
Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon


VC aaye to VB mein daal do,
VC aaye to VB mein daal do
seedhe seedhe sabko museebat mein daal do


Project extend ho gaya to kya ho jaata hai?
Are Tankha milti hai aur timepass ho jata hai..


teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
kabhi offline to kabhi online piya


Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote hai

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